


The Elf Preservation Society

by palanotar (telemachus)



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Austin Minis, Cliffhanger, Gen, Humour, The Italian Job AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4159689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telemachus/pseuds/palanotar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for teitho Money challenge. </p><p>Helps if you've seen The Italian Job film, and can imagine Michael Caine's accent....</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Elf Preservation Society

"Now," said Aragorn. "All of us here have campaigned for the cause for many years. We've tried to raise public awareness, we've lobbied the government, and we've tried direct action."

"And we've all done time for that," added Halbarad.

"Yes, we have," agreed Aragorn grimly. "But the struggle has been worthwhile. Now we have an offer from the government, the treasury, to clandestinely sell us the forestry commission lands in mid-Wales, to be a secure enclave for the Elves for generations to come, guarded by us Dunedain. And in return, they want gold, a lot of gold, to fix the national current account and budget deficits. Legolas has a plan to get this gold."

"We don't have the gold we need," said Legolas, "so we are going to steal it. From the Italian central bank. Using Austin Minis."

"Austin minis?" asked Halbarad.

“Yes, a lot of Austin Minis."

 

*************************************************************************************

 

The converted coach hangs, precariously balanced, on the edge of the precipice, swaying and teetering in the wind. Inside the coach, Aragorn slowly inches on his belly towards the stack of gold bars. As he reaches for them, tantalisingly close, the balance shifts, and the gold bars slide further away. Reaching any further will surely tip the coach and all its contents into the ravine.

Aragorn looks back over his shoulder towards the others. 

"Hang on a minute Legolas - I've got a brilliant idea."

 

.


End file.
